In the pas decade, i changed soo much i barely reconigze 'me' when i was 9 in 1999.
If i told you that when i was 9, i wanna to be an astronaut, would you believe me?
This is me, circa last decade: my hair was longer, i ridded a bike all the time, never picked a shirt or a jersey back then, NYC was like a monster to me, chinese people were like alliens, and i had 3dogs. My best friends lived down the street, a computer was a messy machine, i listen to walkman all the time, and cartoons like Dragon Ball Z were my favorite. Videotapes were my thing, i was one of the best students in my class, and acording to my teacher, a promissing person with my charisma and ability to convince everyone to do what i wanted. I never had a hard time in my life, i was naive and my family was everything to me. I watched a lot of documentarys about the space, ate a lot of meat and no fish, allways drinkin' water and summers were unforgetable because my family from France and NYC came to town. My biggest and most unforgetablle memories from this time are about my latte ninety's vacations in Algarve, allways in September. My footlball club was FCP (i know-.-) and in an International field, France was in my heart.
The 'me' from the beginning of this decade wasnt that different, untill 2001. The first year in middle school was great. I made several new friends from other towns, had excellent grades and worked a lot. My folks were pround of me. Altough i was selfish back then, i had a great heart and allways looked up for my sister to protect her, and my best friends, specially those who camed with me from primary school. I was catholic, went to church every Sunday and to biblle studys.
Everything changed in 2001. The first semester was ok, no great changes, untill September. Twin Towers went down on September eleven, just a mile away from my uncle's place. The world i knew had changed, and thats how i realize that year was gonna be unforgetablle, for the worst reasons. I cyred in front of the TV all day, wishing my family was safe in their home. I tought about the last month we were together, and hoped it wouldnt be the last. The next day, my aunt from France called my mum to tell her they were ok. About 3000 people did that day, and it was enough to start the 'War on terrorism'.
About a month latter, in October26, thats when my life really changed. My sister was 'murderer' in front of our house. Every day i had to past the site she died. My heart closed, and never opened for a very long time. I feared for my parents, they were so heartbroken, like me. We all go down in times like this, i was no exception. Even though in the beginning i didnt realized what was happening, after a weeki went to school again, teling everyone i was fine and to stop worrying. i was like the Star of the class, allways being the most protected and defended in every way, i was untouchable, but my classmates looked at me with a sad and painfull look. My family started to call me almost eveydays, to talk to me. The had realize i existed, and maybe to send me a 'im sorry i never really saw you', the sent me presents and smiles next summer. The problem was, i was going down to a hole where nobody could save me. Now i know i was depressed, even tough i kept doind the same stuff i used to, but i really was. I wasnt the student i was before; i was allways in a bad mood and talked to everyone in an agressive way. I stopped caring about everyone and vice versa; my friends left me, i gain a lot of frenemies, i couldnt trust anybody, my folks started to yell at me the all time, i was miserable and know one seamed to care.
2002-2005(first semester) i didnt changed. Maybe it was really me who had to start to rise, but i was expecting some help from the outside, No one was there to listen to me or help. For the first time, i was alone. I was no longer a kid so i could realize most of the stuff was happening, and i knew my household was sinking and my family were a buntch of crackers. Even tough i managed to keep alive, i was sleeping the all time, wishing for nothing and tryed to look human and act like one. This 4 years of my life are like a blur to me know, they all look the same, uninteresting and full of hate and bad memories. But in the midlles of 2005 i realize that i needed change, or maybe because i was growing up, i dont know, i changed myself in a good way. Of course having agirlfriend and a trip to France helped... a bit!
In September 2005, i entered the high school life. This is the year i see as a turning point. My life, in general was improve, thanks to many factors but above all, i think that leaving middle school was the greatest. In high school, only one of my previous class was with me, so i had the oportunity to make some new friends. Even tough my grades werent the best, i was the best male student of the entire class, with average grades that seamed fair to my mum. I beggin to growing a lot, and hang out more and more, specially in the night. Of course the liberty that my parents gave me was a bit controlled, but for the first time in many years, i started to laugh and smile, meaning it. 2005, 2006 and 2007 were better years, and the wounds in my heart begin to heal, leaving a deep scare behind. In 12grade i begin this friendship with 3 amazing rockstars, called Spi, Nüza and Xwinha. All of them helped me, in a unknow way (for them), but they helped me a lot, by tear down my fears and selfishness, and restarting to care about others. Even tough we all had arguings with each other, deep down we couldnt live without the other. Thats us. Rockstars. We picture ourselves in the showbussiness in 4 years tops; we think we'll become rich in a few months and our friendship is still on.
In 2008, i become aware of my last trouble: depersonalization, if you dont know it, google it. This is still a huge deal to me, its the only wall to tear down that keeps me away from my happiness, and is something that i'll take care next January. That year was full of disapointments, specially College ( i started it only in March this year), and my dad's problem didnt helped at all. For the first time, i realize how easy is to crack me, and i tought i was going down to the hole again. Thank me and my relatives i didnt. Because so much happened that year, i just wanna say that the biggest goal i acomplished and im most pround of is i Math ended that year. If you hate mate as well, you know how huge is that. My 2nd goal was College, wich i managed somehow to enter in the course i wanted, in the city i wanted. )for more information, check the previous posts).
2009 was what i want to call, the new experiences year. A lot changed, for good, i made awesome new friends, chill out a lot, bought a new car, new cell, new computer, new room... I experienced a new me from March to June. I loved that me. Now im a bit down again, DP cracked me a little, but soon i hope everything changes. And somehow, i managed to keep my old friends (they just cant get sick of me all the time, wich is good).
Now i cand see how different i become. im no longer the naive child i use to be, i guess i grown up. From my primary school friends, i only speak with two. I hate my bday and X-mas, and i love the summer, one of the few things that didnt change. Im kinda an expert on computers, i care about how i look on the other peoples eyes, and i have a lot of opinions about everything that i have to 'spit it out' on my friends faces. I put myself second, my friends are the most important thinks in the world for me, as my mum, my dog and a huge amount of material stuff.
Im Jonathane, Im 19. im a freshman im my college, i bought my Car when i was 18. I have a godson, a dog, i care about the enviromnent and Rockstar's lives, im Liberal, a democrat in the US politics, i dream about becoming Famous, living in NYC and to write a book on the next starbucks. I care about my facebook page, my twitter and my blog, im allways updatting them. I listen to all kind of songs, from ABBA to Buraka, from Linkin park to Amalia Hoje. I read a lot, i enjoy a walk woth my friends a good movie on the big screen.
Im kinda superficial, somethinh that i have to lie about a lot, and i think first impressions are really important, i also judge a lot and i think money comes first and happyness 2nd.
This is me. This is what happened last decade and last year. And this are my goals for 2010 and the next decade:
.) Finish my Course;
.) To get married with someone i love;
.) Have lots of money and material stuff i like;
.) Live in NYC;
.) Write a book, maybe a horror book.
The End
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